Wednesday, 31 July 2013

Today's Thoughts #2

Instead of wallowing in the fact that you are having a hard time or things feel a bit hopeless and static, just pretend everything is awesome!

Fill your time with fulfilling things. Bake, write, draw, play, make, do; anything that has reward and a physical final piece.

The reason your life seems static and hopeless when you are feeling sorry for yourself, I think, is because you are doing nothing to make yourself worth being a human, with all of these capabilities and opportunities. If you just watch TV all day, you could just as well be like a vegetable or an egg. An egg with eyes. That's right. It takes no talent or skill to watch TV. Do something that proves who you are and what you are. An amazingly complex human being with the possibility to make and do incredible things.

I think that once you let this happen, and you let yourself soak up the possibilities of the world around you, like some sort of aspirational sponge, you are an inspired and empowered person, ready to visit cool places and do cool things, and make your own shit, because you have captured and channeled and controlled the elements of your creativity that you need to show the world - or just yourself - what you imagine and what you want to see.

Instead of feeling like the ceiling of your mind is pushing down on your thoughts, and only allowing you certain emotions and memories that will hurt you and sadden you; just stand on the top of a windy hill and get over yourself.

The sky, the clouds, the trees, the soil under your feet, the rain, the sun. The things that were here before you and will be here after you. They don't give a shit that you got turned down for a job, or your friends can't come to yours cos they're busy, or you had an argument, or your relationship has gone to shit, or you don't know what you want to do after school, or you don't like school now, or your mum won't let you have an Xbox One, or have alcohol at your friends party. So neither should you.

They have been there for decades, or centuries, or always, and they haven't got that far and been present for so long by feeling down and being mardy.

Just swallow the lump in your throat and get on with stuff, harden up and grasp what gives you positive feelings, and don't think about what makes you negative.

Don't forget just don't give in.

Saturday, 27 July 2013

One week into the holidays, already thinking of Schule...

 ...but look at them, look at that print!!

 The bag, which has a long strap as well as a 'briefcase' style handle on the top, was an absolute steal at just £15.00, and the matching purse was £7.99.
Inside the bag there are three compartments, the middle one zipped up, and a small 'change' pocket integrated into the back wall. The bag shuts with two pop-lock straps, and has a cute little space on the front to put your name and details in! I can't wait to make an awesome card to go in there.
The purse is just as great, with a huge coin section, and a space for every single bank, membership and loyalty card you could ever collect.

 Is it wrong I'm almost excited to go back to school with this bag? I love it!

Friday, 26 July 2013

I am very emotional these days

Things I have cried at in the last 24 hours:
  • My dogs licking each others' ears - those guys just love each other so much!
  • Some hedgehog shaped road kill
  • A man's wedding vows to his wife; he said that 'when a boy grows up, he leaves his mother and his father to start his own family with a woman who has his mother's love and sensitivity, and his father's strength and guidance' and then he put the ring on her finger
  • WWF tiger advert
  • 3 songs
  • A man telling his wife that she looked really gorgeous on a TV programme
  • My boobies
  • Photographs of when I was little
  • The Friends episode where Ross and Rachel meet before his marriage to Emily
  • The accommodation at Leicester University - I'm rate not sold on uni and I'm just starting to wonder if I'll ever find a place I want to study or a thing I want to study, it makes me feel really unpassionate and crappy.

That is all so far, I am sure I will cry at more stuff whether it be of happiness, sadness, excitement, anger etc., it just seems to be my reaction to everything nowadays. I opened a gate, man.

Sunday, 21 July 2013

Today's Thoughts

I'm so obsessed with doing things perfectly the first time that I will never try anything new.

I need to relax and understand that no one expects you to do something perfectly first time - and if they do they're being very unreasonable - and no one will judge you on your first attempt.

I feel like any effort I put into something that doesn't turn out exactly how I planned it is wasted effort, and that's pretty much just ridiculous.

Practice makes perfect, and every time you do something you are bound to improve in some way. As long as it is good practice, and not developing bad habits, you will have gotten better. But even then, developing bad habits is a noticeable difference, a change that has happening by keeping at it, it's still proof of development.

So, instead of being so uptight, I need to let go of my own expectations of myself (and others') and just enjoy something, rather than always trying to be impressive, as that is how you discover new and wonderful things; by experimenting and doing what comes to you.

I don't know when I got this way, I never used to be so perfectionist. It almost seems an outrageous word to describe myself with. I gotta let loose.

The Elders Scroll Skyrim - Hand